


Experience

by ambientwhispers



Category: Dragon Age
Genre: Age Difference, Cunnilingus, Dragon Age Kink Meme, F/M, Loss of Virginity, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-15
Updated: 2011-08-15
Packaged: 2017-10-22 15:57:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/239843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambientwhispers/pseuds/ambientwhispers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anders is 14 years older than Marian Hawke. He deflowers her while all the while feeling like a horrible lecher for the age difference. Originally a kmeme fill, posted anonymously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Experience

Marian Hawke blushed as she bit her lip, her eyes refusing to meet Anders'. They were alone in his clinic after a hard day's work - Anders had just extinguished the lantern and closed the doors. This was the most awkward part of the day, when she wanted to say something, anything, to Anders, but ended up slinking home like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs. How could she talk to him without sounding like an idiot? Every time she tried to think of a line of conversation, she always felt like she was just stumbling over everything. She was an idiot, he’d never want a vir--

"Hawke... Marian." Anders broke the silence, his face drawn with pain.

"Yes, Anders?" Marian wrung her hands with anxiety.

“I’ve tried to hold back. You saw what I almost did to that girl. You’ve seen what I am.” Anders stepped towards her, resembling a predator more than a mage. “But I’m still a man. You can’t tease me like this and expect me to resist forever.”

Marian opened and closed her mouth a few times, words failing to come to her. Anders... Anders knew how she felt. She had never before pursued a man. No men in Lothering had caught her eye, and she had been far too busy her first year in Kirkwall to even consider pursing a relationship with anyone. When she met Anders, though... The fine wrinkles at the corners of his eyes told of his experience, of his age. Once, when they were on Sundermount, she had seen a few stray gray hairs sprouting at his temples, almost imperceptible from the blonde; she couldn't have explained it, but seeing them had excited her. She knew he was at least a decade older and that intrigued her. Most girls of 23 would balk at the idea of a man even 30, much less older.

She knew she was not most girls. To have Anders all to herself, to have his knowledge guiding her through her first foray into physical love...

"How long will it take before I drive you mad?"

Anders let out a nearly inaudible growl before crossing the remaining space between them in two long strides. He pressed his lips to hers with a hunger that she could never have imagined he possessed, his hand gripping a handful of her hair. She heard his needy pants, felt his possessive bites upon her lips. Her first kiss, she thought, and she wouldn't have wanted it to happen any other way.

After a moment, too long and yet not long enough, he stepped away. "This will be a disaster, but I can’t live without it.” His face sobered. “We could die tomorrow. I don’t want it to be before I tell you how I feel.”

Marian’s cheeks felt as if they were on fire, betraying her nervousness. He would find out about her inexperience soon enough... “I’ve never felt this way about anyone.” Such a cliched phrase, but not even an exaggeration in this case.

Anders cast his eyes downward, his shoulders slumped in shame. “I thought after Justice... this part of me was over. I can’t give you a normal life. If you’re with me we’ll be hunted, hated. The whole world will be against us.” He dropped his voice lower, glancing about first. “If your door is open tonight, I will come to you. If not, I’ll know you took my warning at last.” His eyes met hers, searching for a silent answer.

Marian nodded and turned on her heel to flee the clinic before the blush on her cheeks spread too far across her face. Her anxiety ran high and she didn’t want to let him know she was a virgin, not yet.

* * *

Marian paced her room, arms crossed across her chest. It was late... she started to doubt Anders would make his appearance. Just as she was about to give up, the door opened. Anders stepped over the threshold, then closed the door behind him. Marian stared at the apostate in disbelief. He did wish to pursue this... Maybe it wasn't a waste of her time. “You’re here! I wasn’t sure you’d come.”

"Justice does not approve of my obsession with you." Anders smirked, like he thought the spirit within his head was a pure fool. "He believes you are a distraction. It is one of the few things on which we disagree."

Marian smirked, doing her best to keep this sudden rush of courage she found. “If you hadn’t come, I’d be out looking for you.”

“When I was in the Circle, love was only a game.” He looked pained - Marian knew he didn’t like speaking of his experiences there. “It gave the Templars too much power if there was something you couldn’t stand to lose.” He bit his lip for a split second. “It would kill me to lose you.”

“You aren’t going to lose me.” Marian rested her hand on his shoulder, squeezing in reassurance as she dropped her voice to a soft whisper.

Anders grasped her hand and cupped his other hand to the side of her face. His voice was breathy. “No mage I know has ever dared to fall in love.” Marian could feel a touch of magic warming her cheek, a physical manifestation of Anders’ passion. She shivered.

“This is the rule I will most cherish breaking.” He pulled her to him, pressing his lips to hers in a drastic contrast to his earlier fevered passion. His tongue prodded at her lips, and she hesitated for a moment...

“Marian... you’re trembling.” Anders had pulled back only just far enough to allow the whisper, his lips brushing against hers. He drew her quivering body against his own and held her close. “Are you frightened?”

Marian dropped her forehead to rest against his collarbone. “It’s... I’m not frightened. I mean, I am, but I’m not. It’s complicated.”

“You’re... nervous.” Anders cocked his head to the side. Marian nodded her head a fraction of an inch. “You have nothing to be afraid of, Marian.”

Marian mumbled something against his feathered spaulders.

“What was that?”

“... virgin.”

Anders stepped back, a surprised look crossing his face. “You’ve never... really?”

Marian’s face turned bright red. “You’re so much older... so much more experienced. I’m sure you don’t want me now, and that’s fine. I... I promise I won’t be offended.”

“That doesn’t bother me, love. I knew you were young, I just... I didn’t expect that I might be your first.” Anders cupped a hand to the side of her face again. “My age doesn’t bother you? Fourteen years is quite the gap, you know.”

Marian shook her head. “No, of course not. I-I really want to do this, Anders. I do.” She grasped his free hand and started to lead him to the bed, her eyes pleading. “Please.”

* * *

Anders bit back his unease. He did his best to bury his thoughts. _When she was born, I had already been in the circle for two years. I already had a bit of dark hair on my lip that the templars teased me about. I already had hair in my smallclothes, a few stray hairs on my chest. I was already well on my way to being a man and she was just a babe suckling at her mother's breast._

He shook his head a minute amount to try to clear his head. He didn't have the time to entertain such thoughts - he had already spent far too much time arguing with himself over his attraction to Marian, and now that she was with him of her own free will...

Anders helped Marian sit down upon the bed, then crawled over her as she laid back. He pressed his lips to her porcelain neck and felt the perfect, smooth skin beneath his chapped lips. He felt his stubble brush her neck, felt the chill as it left pinprick bumps upon her skin. He brushed his teeth across her jawline as he ghosted his hand down her side. Her beautiful curves were barely masked by the smoking jacket she wore, and he had to shove down more mental comparisons of their age. _Not the time, Anders._

He felt her hands fumbling with the clasps on his overcoat as he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Someone's a bit eager."

"Maker, Anders, I've wanted this for so long..." Marian's voice sounded thick and lusty and it only fanned the flames burning within him. He braced his weight on one arm, unfastening his coat with the other.

"I shan't make you wait longer, love."

She clawed at his coat, growling when she could not remove it with the speed she desired. Her hands flew to the belt of her smoking jacket, and Anders placed his free hand over them. "In due time, Marian. Don't rush this."

She pouted, but obeyed and dropped her hands to her sides. Anders gave her a tender smile before kissing her again and shrugging out of his coat. He eased his weight onto her, amused by how little time it took her to grind her hips against him as her breath started to pick up into shallow pants. It had been a long time (he cringed internally and fought again to bury his thoughts of how lecherous was) since he had been with a virgin, and he had forgotten just how much of sex was pure instinct.

Anders brushed his lips over her cheek to her ear, then dragged his tongue along the shell. "I can't believe I could be so lucky as to be here right now, with you." He smirked as he felt her whole body quake with the chill his breath against her ear caused. Anders sat up to pull his tunic over his head and paused a moment to allow her the view. He could feel her eyes roaming over his chest, pausing on the large, knotted scar over his heart, grazing over the light brown hair interspersed with just a bit of gray. His smirk spread into a grin, then he dipped down again to suckle and bite at her neck, soothing each with his tongue. Her breath grew more ragged by the second, and her hips ground against his own with more insistence.

He allowed a single hand to slide up her side to cup a perfect breast and he could not help the groan of appreciation that he made. He kneaded it as he grazed his thumb over the nipple. The fabric must have rubbed just right because her back arched up to press her chest against his and a low moan escaped her lips. Anders used a firm touch when he began massaging the soft flesh again, rubbing his palm over the entire surface of the breast just to feel her breath hitch again.

Anders, deciding he had teased her sufficiently enough for now, untied the waist of her smoking jacket and slipped a hand inside. He slid the hand up to her shoulder, guiding the smoking jacket off her shoulder to expose a creamy expanse of skin. Anders pressed his lips to her skin again and again, working his way down her neck and shoulder to the top of her exposed breast. Hawke shuddered again, whispered begs tumbling from her lips. Anders nuzzled his cheek against the inside of her breast. "You are, without doubt, the most beautiful woman I have ever seen, Marian. Please look at me... let me see those gorgeous eyes."

She opened her eyes and looked down at Anders, who resumed his trail of kisses across the swell of flesh until he reached the apex. He traced the edge of the nipple with his tongue, keeping eye contact with her. The corner of his mouth pulled up in an amused smirk before he engulfed the erect flesh, suckling and teasing.

Her back arched up again, a wail slipping out of her mouth as a fist tangled itself in the hair at the base of Anders' skull. Anders continued his attentions, his own eyes drifting closed as he savored the sensations - her scent, her taste, the wonderful sounds of pleasure she made. He slid the smoking jacked off her other shoulder, then dragged a finger back down her shoulder before kneading the newly-exposed breast.

She ground her hips against him with a greater urgency, and he pushed her knees further apart to wedge himself between them. Her skirt had worked itself up her hips, and he fit snugly in the space created. He made gentle thrusts, his breeches rubbing against her damp smallclothes in a way he _knew_ did something for her, based upon the panting and moaning she did.

"Please, Anders... Please, you can't tease me like --" Another moan interrupted her sentence, and she took a moment to recover. "You can't tease me like this!"

Anders released her nipple from his mouth, grazing his teeth over it as he did so. "How long will it take before I drive you mad?"

Marian scowled at Anders. "Damnit, Anders, don't throw that back at me!"

Anders only threw her a lopsided grin as he rolled off of her, then he caressed her inner thigh. "I'm sorry, love." He rubbed his thumb over her sensitive folds through her smallclothes, enjoying the full-body shudder he elicited from her. "Can you ever forgive me?"

"Just... stop... teasing me." Her teeth were clenched and her fists gripped the sheets.

Anders kissed her shoulder and slipped his index finger under the sopping cloth. He slid the probing finger into the slit between the folds, and she shouted something unintelligible, her hips raising off the bed.

"Oh... we liked that, didn't we?" Anders' breath caressed her skin, his lips brushing the flesh. He ran his fingertip along the length of the crease, and she shuddered. "Where to go..." he sang, in a whisper.

"Just be gentle."

"Always." He slid his hand back out, ignoring her whine, and pulled her smallclothes down her thighs. He returned his hand to its attentions, teasing her clit with his thumb, making small circles around it that just barely brushed the flesh itself. Her hips bucked with each brush, small yelps accompanying each thrust. He kissed his way down her breast again, tonguing her nipple at the same pace as he stroked her clit. Her back began arch up off the bed again and she punched the bed a few times.

"Maker, Anders...!"

"Oh no no no, love, not so fast now. I'd love for this to stretch out just a bit longer." He drew his hand away, ducking a fist as it flew over his head. "Don't be so angry. You'll thank me for it later."

Anders slid her smallclothes the rest of the way down her legs, then threw them to the floor with his coat. He bent forward to kiss her knee, pushing her skirt up further and pushing her knees apart.

She obviously struggled to catch her breath as he pushed her knees apart, the building anticipation evident upon her face. Anders pressed his lips in an open-mouthed kiss to the inside of her right knee, then repeated the process every few inches down her legs, alternating sides with each kiss. When he arrived at the junction of her thigh and sex, he sighed with satisfaction before sliding his tongue into the slick folds.

Anders felt a hand grip the small bundle of hair at the back of his skull, felt her dull fingernails scrape his scalp as her hand clenched into a fist. He stroked her with the flat of his tongue, allowing her insistent fist to guide him wherever she desired more attention. Her hips thrust up against him just fractions of an inch, and it appeared she struggled to keep her legs open for fear of crushing him.

"Relax, love." He felt her quiver with each brush of his lips against her own, though she obeyed. He resumed the broad strokes with his tongue, wrapping his arm about her left thigh for leverage.

After just a few minutes of his careful ministrations, he heard a dramatic gasp. He sucked hard on her clit just in time to cause the simultaneous actions of her hips bucking against his face, her thighs clamping down on his head, and her fist tugging on his hair while still shoving him into her. Her shriek was quickly muffled, and after she had ridden the waves of pleasure enough to release him, he looked up to see a pillow shoved over her face. He chuckled with no small degree of amusement.

"That was a good idea. Don't want to wake your mother, after all." _Damnit, Anders, stop reminding yourself of her age._

Marian struggled to catch her breath, her eyes wide and glazed. Her mouth worked as if she were looking for words, but failing to find them.

“Take your time, Marian... I don’t think we’re done yet.” Anders propped himself up on an elbow to stare into her face, a smirk dancing across his lips.

She took a deep breath. “That was... way better than anything I could’ve imagined.” She wiggled the skirt down her legs and kicked it off the edge of the bed, leaving herself completely exposed. “Way better than anything I’ve ever managed.”

Anders chuckled. “Well, yes, love, that is the beauty of being with someone else. It’s usually much better. Part of the fun is also in figuring out exactly...” He dragged his fingertips down her side, his words trailing. “... Where... you’ll get the best reaction.” He slid his fingers between her legs again, hitting the spots she had reacted best to. He was rewarded with her hips snapping up once as she grunted, and he chuckled again.

“Isn’t it your turn now? Isn’t that how this works?” Marian bit her lip and tugged at the waistband of Anders’ breeches.

Anders pushed her hand away, shaking his head. “Ah-ah, Marian. Tonight is about _you._ ” He bent down to kiss her neck. “If you think you’re ready, we can...” He felt her nod, her cropped hair teasing his ear.

“Then relax, love.” Anders leaned over her again, bracing his weight with an elbow by her shoulder. “This... may be a bit uncomfortable. I promise you I will be gentle. All you have to do is relax.”

“I understand, Anders. Just... please stop dawdling.” she smirked slightly, squeezing the arm he was bracing himself up with.

Anders took his time as he pressed a single finger into her. He was amazed at how tight she was, but he was also glad her arousal allowed her to accept him with a small degree of ease. He paused a moment to allow her to adjust to the sensation before starting to slide it in and out, being as gentle as possible. Her breath hitched in her throat and she bit her lip.

“Shhh, relax.” Anders repeated. He started to slide another finger in alongside the first, whispering that mantra in her ear the whole time. Marian bit back a groan.

Anders kissed her cheek. “Does it hurt too much, love? Would you like me to stop?”

She shook her head, her words coming in a rush of breath. “No. Don’t stop, Anders. I want this. Please.”

“Of course, love.” Anders pressed his lips to hers as he continued his gentle thrusts. His fingers met minimal resistance, and she panted against his mouth between kisses.

“What if I did... this?” Anders nibbled her bottom lip as he began to rub her clit with his thumb while his fingers slid into and out of her. Her back arched up off the bed and he planted an open-mouthed kiss on her exposed throat.

“Maker, Anders, keep going!” Marian’s grip on his upper arm tightened, and her breathing was ragged.

“As you wish.” Anders kissed her neck again, working his way back up to her ear. “I just want to make sure you enjoy this.” As a test, he spread his fingers apart, scissoring them inside of her. A sharp gasp escaped from her lips and he felt her clench about him.

“Shhhh love, relax.” Anders resumed that mantra, slowing down his pace again, but still scissoring the fingers a small bit inside her.

She groaned, her grip on his upper arm still unrelenting. "That feels amazing, Anders. Right there..."

Anders smirked against her cheek. "You haven't even seen the beginning, my dear." He hooked his fingers, hitting _that_ spot, and her eyes shot open, a strangled sound coming from within her throat. The grip on his fingers was painful; it ground his knuckles together, but still he stroked that special spot to push her over the edge and allow her to ride another wave to completion.

"How do you even _do_ that, Anders?"

"I've got... a lot of experience."

She scowled at him. "You're incorrigible."

"Perhaps, but you love it." Anders grinned in a lopsided way as he untied the waistband of his breeches.

Marian rolled her eyes, but still smiled at him. "Does this mean you're done teasing?"

Anders pushed himself up, then climbed off the bed to remove his boots and breeches. He could see her gaze sliding down his body and he couldn't help but chuckle. "I think the worst is yet to come. I will not apologize."

She bit her lip in anticipation as he crawled back onto the bed. He rearranged her knees and legs to settle himself between them, then bent forward to press a kiss to her lips again. "I will go very, very slowly. I want you to communicate with me. I need to know how you're feeling, and when I need to slow down or stop. Do you understand?"

She nodded in response, then kissed him as if to seal the agreement. "Yes. Now, if you could stop tormenting me, that would be wonderful."

Anders only chuckled, then repeated, "As you wish." He lowered himself and grasped his cock in his hand, rubbing the tip of it along the length of her slit. A strangled groan slipped from between her lips and her hands snaked up over his shoulders, and he took that as encouragement. He let his full length settle between the swollen folds of her sex and he began to thrust, biting back a groan at the stimulation.

Her whole body shuddered and her nails dug into his back as a growl escaped from her. "I told you to stop teasing me, Anders," she said from between clenched teeth.

"I know, love. I just wanted to build up the anticipation." He kissed her neck as he picked up the pace with the thrusts. Her arousal provided a slick channel, and he glided through it with only minimal effort.

"I suppose you've earned this, though, with your incredible patience." Anders sat back on his ankles and grasped himself at the base of his erection. He ran the tip through her folds once more to wet it, then pressed it against her opening. "Breathe deeply, love, then relax." He pressed forward in minute increments, only moving forward when he felt her accept him. Once he had his full length within her, he held as still as possible. "Remember to breathe. Just relax."

Marian relaxed her hands just a bit, and he could feel the sting from where her short nails had been biting into the skin. "How is it possible for me to feel so _full?_ " She said in a whisper.

"It's a beautiful feeling, isn't it?" Anders gave her a tender kiss, then asked, "Are you ready for me to move, love?"

She nodded against him, and he began to make shallow thrusts. Her grip on him was almost too much to bear, and he bit his lip. No use going through all of that work just to lose it so soon. Anders left a trail of kisses along her jaw, punctuating each thrust. Her breath picked up pace, growing more ragged, and he responded with faster, deeper strokes.

"Oh, _Maker,_ that's wonderful!" Her nails began to dig into him again.

Anders ran his left hand down her side to her thigh, pulling it up to wrap the leg about himself. He was careful to resist the deeper angle this afforded him, but she moaned louder with the new sensations this angle gave _her._

He touched his forehead to hers, gazing into her ice-blue eyes. Nothing else mattered at this moment, not the Chantry, nor the Qunari, nor Justice himself; only he and Marian melding their bodies together into one beautiful, perfect being. He had never felt so complete, and he hated that he had to wait 37 years to feel it.

She slid her arms up about him to cup the back of his skull, and she pulled him down to meet her lips. He felt her tongue prodding against his lips and he allowed her in, his tongue dancing about hers. He panted against her as he broke the kiss and sat up partway, never breaking his tempo. He slid his hand between them and rubbed his thumb in circles around her most sensitive spot, eliciting louder moans from her.

Anders continued to snap his hips in rhythm with his thumb as he leaned forward to massage a breast again, and he smiled at the sight of Marian so beautiful beneath him. Her chest heaved with each panting breath she took, and her fists had found the sheets again. The leg wrapped about his own hip gripped him, and he suspected she would find another peak soon, if her previous two were any indication. He removed his hand from between them and ignored her quiet whine.

He pulled her other leg up over his hip and braced his weight with elbows on either side of her, pressing the full length of his body against hers again. He did his best to grind himself against her each time he thrust into her to achieve the same end he had chased with his thumb. He suckled at her collarbone, doing his best to ignore his own approaching peak. Her grip on him was so tight, he wasn't sure he could last much longer.

"Let go, Marian. You can see the edge - go over it for me, love." He rubbed his hips against her in an insistent fashion before thrusting again, and her breath hitched before she clamped down upon him tighter than he could have imagined and she released a moan that echoed through the room.

Anders thrust a few more times before his movements grew erratic, a strangled groan escaping from his own mouth as he spilled himself inside of her. He gasped for breath, resting his forehead on her collarbone. After a long moment, he withdrew himself and rolled off her to lay at her side.

"That was... wonderful." She closed her eyes, like she was afraid the memory would escape if she opened them again.

Anders bent down to plant a kiss on her lips, then drew her body against his own as he wrapped his arms about her. "I feel the same way, love. That was perfect."

They laid together, whispering in the dark until they fell into a light sleep by the light of the fireplace.

Anders awoke later to find her standing before he fireplace, still nude. He marveled at the shapes and shadows thrown over her skin by the flickering flames.

 _I can’t believe you did that, Anders. Fourteen years younger than you. Fourteen years._

He shook his head, clearing the thoughts as best as he could. _She may be young, Justice, but I did not coerce her into anything. Hold your judgement._

Anders stood up from the bed and pulled her into an embrace, her back against his chest. “I love you. I’ve been holding back from saying that.” He laid a gentle kiss at the base of her neck, then sighed. “You should have a normal life, not be tied down to a fugitive with no future.”

Marian turned to face him, but Anders placed a finger over her lips. “But... I don’t ever want to leave you.”

She kissed Anders’ fingers. “Don’t ever leave, Anders.”

Anders cocked his head to the side slightly. “Do you mean that? Would you have me here, living with you? Would you tell the world - the Knight-Commander - that you love an apostate and you will stand beside him?”

“I want you right here, until the day we die.”

Anders let out the breath he hadn’t been aware he held. “For three years I have lain awake every night, aching for you. I’m still terrified I’ll wake up.”

She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him with a passion she had been holding back for three years.


End file.
